Considering the cost of a wedding

Check out the link to an article in the Sydney Morning Herald about the Billions spent in the Wedding Industry

Here comes the bride all dressed in red

Preparing for the Wedding - Looking after the Relationship

Some statistics I read years ago suggested that the beginning of the breakdown in a marriage relationship can often be traced back to the wedding day and also to the time a couple spend preparing for the wedding.

While a couple can be preparing for what to them will be the biggest day of their lives the seeds of resentment can be sown as a couple realise that their expectations may be different. Even couples who have lived together for years can be totally surprised by their partner’s expectations. It is not only each others expectations that they may have to negotiate but expectations of family members and societal expectations whether real or illusionary. There are many decisions to be made about lots and lots of big and little things. Being very open about these expectations and acknowledging differences may be very important before preparations begin so that there are not likely to be any big surprises along the way which may dramatically influence what should be a rich time for a couple.

As a minister acting as the celebrant for a couple I always like to check how a couple are going in their relationship during this time of preparation. I see my role as being a third and independent person that they can talk with either together or individually. I usually encourage them to look after, protect and treasure their relationship during this time and not to let the preparations become bigger and more important than the relationship. Learning to look after the relationship during this time can be very helpful for future days.

A love affair

A love affair

Yesterday I attended the funeral of a man and was very moved by the way his grandchildren spoke so affectionately about him. They described the relationship their grandfather had with their grandmother as a love affair. They had been married 52 years and had ceremonies to renew their vows twice during that time and had planned to have me officiate for another renewal of their vows on their next anniversary. They described their grandparents dancing closely late into the night in a cabin on holiday in Tasmania and sleeping in the same bed, snuggled up, no matter where they were or how small the bed was whether on the Indian Pacific Train or in a bunk bed on an ocean liner. He never wanted to be separate from her even for a night. They described him as a man who lived with passion and instilled in them a passion and adventure for life. He was passionate in his love for his partner and wife, passionate as an artist, passionate about sport, passionate about his friends, passionate about his family. And yet this was a working man, he worked with his hands all his life.

As I listened I thought what an example this man is to his grandchildren, but specifically to his grandsons. What a role model he is to younger men and to all men in society. I marvelled at the way he demonstrated such passionate love and respect for his partner of 52 years. I thought how good is this for men to see this modelled to them and how even better it is for women to be loved so totally as this man loved.

It was a challenge to me. How many of us men view our partners as someone we are having a love affair with? And if we did how would that improve our relationships and the lives of our partners?

Dying to be green | G-Online, the best of green

Dying to be green | G-Online, the best of green:

'via Blog this'